The first pic is of Hore Abbey from the Rock of Cashel.
The next two pictures are just of Hore Abbey. The following blog has more pictures of the abbey, I just found these and wanted them available for viewing also.

This is one of my favorite spots in all of Ireland. It is called Hore Abbey and it is nothing but a ruin sitting at the bottom of the Rock of Cashel.
it was founded in 1266 by Benedictine monks but the ruler of Cashel dreamed the monks were plotting to kill him so he destroyed their ordered and seized the land and brought in Ciscterian monks.
I thought this place was one of the best that we visited. I just loved the fact that these ruins were in the middle of a field literally untouched.
I LOVED the ceiling. It amazed me that such a wonder could still exist after 900 years.
i think I could have stayed there all day if Deborah had not reminded me that we were headed to the Cliffs of Mohr later that day.

less than 4 days

I am acting like the world is about to come to an end, but as far as I know it is not, I am just having a birthday in less than 4 days. It is a rather big birthday as these things tend to be. It is weird, even a month ago I was fine to me it was no big deal turning 30, but now I want to run and hide. Maybe it is such a big deal now because it is not going to be a big deal (if that statement makes sense.) Last year I was in Ireland and spent my birthday kissing the Blarney Stone and hanging at a pub with dear friends and amazing music. This year not so much.

I never understood people freaking out about turning 30, but I am beginning to. There is so much I have not done, or seen and almost half my life is over. I know we are not promised anything, but if you go by the standard age calculations these days...

I want to go back to Ireland that is. Go back and stay, if not there then England or southern France, anywhere in Europe where the history can be stood upon at any point in your day. Places where history is lived and not toured. A place maybe even to start fresh with only school loans hanging over my head and not the abject failure that things here seem to be.

things to ponder with less than 4 days to go...

PS: the pics are of my friend Deborah and I: one we are at the top of Blarney Castle and the other is with Blarney in the background. yes, I kissed the Blareny stone and I will not be posting those pics for public consumption, but if you want to see them email me and ask nicely and I will consider. :)

I hate change. It never has been one of the things that I can deal with. I am afraid of things that I cannot control and change is one of those things. Things change to quickly. I have had alot of friends move and get married in the past year and soon one of my dearest friends is moving to the middle of Europe. I am still in the same place I was ten years ago just ten years older and maybe a bit wiser.

I think some of this is because I am 6 days away from 30 and watching everyone around do something that I thought would have been me by now. I wonder if we truly hold ourselves back, or if the old adage of life is what goes on while we are trying to live is what this is. How did I find myself here? I think I have a few answers to that question, but the question that I truly what an answer to is how do I get myself there? Europe, grad school, a husband, a family, all of these things are good desires so why don't I want them?

I met a girl, a classmate actually who told me that she wants to teach at the college level more than anything and that that has been her drive for the past few years. She is incredibly intelligent and knows what she wants and what it takes to get there. She even knows that if she does not get accepted to a doctoral program this year that she can apply next year and use the in between time to work on publications etc.

Can will power really get me there or is there something I am missing?

Back to the friend moving to Europe. how do I tell them that I want them to be happy and go, but at the same time deal with losing them? I have leaned on them so much these past few months and now they have no time for me. I feel like a petulant child, but want this person to know how I feel. Of course one could ask if it would matter even if they did know. I am not asking them to not go, just to remember.