less than 4 days

I am acting like the world is about to come to an end, but as far as I know it is not, I am just having a birthday in less than 4 days. It is a rather big birthday as these things tend to be. It is weird, even a month ago I was fine to me it was no big deal turning 30, but now I want to run and hide. Maybe it is such a big deal now because it is not going to be a big deal (if that statement makes sense.) Last year I was in Ireland and spent my birthday kissing the Blarney Stone and hanging at a pub with dear friends and amazing music. This year not so much.

I never understood people freaking out about turning 30, but I am beginning to. There is so much I have not done, or seen and almost half my life is over. I know we are not promised anything, but if you go by the standard age calculations these days...

I want to go back to Ireland that is. Go back and stay, if not there then England or southern France, anywhere in Europe where the history can be stood upon at any point in your day. Places where history is lived and not toured. A place maybe even to start fresh with only school loans hanging over my head and not the abject failure that things here seem to be.

things to ponder with less than 4 days to go...

PS: the pics are of my friend Deborah and I: one we are at the top of Blarney Castle and the other is with Blarney in the background. yes, I kissed the Blareny stone and I will not be posting those pics for public consumption, but if you want to see them email me and ask nicely and I will consider. :)